My symphony

My dearest Jeraldine.

2012-02-08T22:40:00.001+08:00

Well, I hope whatever you received would make you less depressed. In this team, I try to be like a older sister who looks after everyone of you. I'm having this mentality maybe because I was once the captain where I am suppose to handle all things even the slightest thing. so I would want to be so until we graduate. I really feel how you felt to be heartbroken, unwanted and disappointed. you were so in love and suddenly all these becomes a nightmare, a hindrance to you. You and I experienced the same things. Same thoughts same feelings same actions. Well I will never be able to find someone like you who goes through the same thing as me. HAHA loveya girl!

2012-02-08T15:46:00.001+08:00

Time for training! touch rugby.. Boring.

2012-01-20T23:30:00.000+08:00

Just realized that I haven't been posting! Simple reason, school starts, training starts therefore I have no time at all to do other stuffs. If I am free, I'll spend my time sleeping so that I can recover. Physically and mentally of course:) HAHA
Had dinner with my dearest kor kor just now at serangoon gardens.
I think I really enjoyed myself:)
I found myself extrememly talkative during dinner time.
We ate prata for dinner! I thought it was pretty cool:)
HEHE Kor had 3hrs of tuition at Sg. That's why I had to go all the way there to meet him.
Im meeting him tomorrow afternoon again for lunch:)
Then we will study. At nexx. Hopefully WE will be able to study in an environment that is crowded, mostly.
Studying at starbucks would be a great idea and since Im a lover of starbucks coffee!
yep!
My malaysia relatives are coming over tomorrow afternoon around 3++ and I'll be having my tuition at 4-.- BESTTTT.
HAHA it's okay Im gonna work hard. so hard. Im gonna make it :)
In jesus name I pray,
Amen.

2011-12-31T18:02:00.001+08:00

Life sucks. I get upset when you come. Cos. I don't know. Just. Argh I'm not happy today. I miss cameron.

2011-12-31T00:46:00.001+08:00

I miss you a lot.

2011-12-31T00:15:00.002+08:00

Im currently waiting for Cameron to go online.
Listening to hinder- lips of an angel.
Emoing right now. I don't know why.
And Im not putting my hopes high on him.
Comon, it's just a crush. I crush will lead me to nowhere.
And we won't talk. Never cos we don't have a common topic.
Im just thinking a lot.
And apparently there's an outing tomorrow but im not invited. alright.

2011-12-31T00:11:00.000+08:00

I apologise for not posting recently.
Well, Im not feeling so well now.
About my big brother.
I got mad at him for a while at the wake.
Cos he went you tell her about everything.
I mean yeah I know she can be trusted and she will keep it as a secret.
But at least inform me beforehand or something.
Jasmin is also very trustworthy.
Why can I tell her bout yours? Its the same logic.
And now the atmosphere is like. cool
It's like the bonded sibling-ship has all gone down to waste.
Back to square-one.
I know I know she's important.
Like she the only one that can make you so happy and relaxed.
But, not me.
Sorry. But this thing and the friendship that's 'affected' now is really affecting my mood.
I know you're stressed from home. I hope you see a better way in the family. Because I long to have one like yours.

2011-12-22T23:05:00.001+08:00

I went shopping with my aunt this morning. we went to compass point's metro. I didn't find anything there so we headed down to Tampines.
I bought 2 dresses! well, that's my limit.
But it's like $59 for one piece. I don't wanna make a hole in my aunt's pocket.
I bought a belt too. I wanted a long pants. not track pants but those I can go out with.
Then we went shopping for cousin's present.
Toys are extremely expensive nowadays.
As you grow older, what are toys for.
Then I went to meet Jerome for coffee. We went Shaw Tower.
It's nice there. quiet and peaceful. spacious too.
We sat there and talked. 4++ till 6?
Then we went for ice cream!
was quite surprised that the flavours were actually made by themselves.
It's really nice.
Then.. Oh well we just talked a lot.
I kinda miss my turkey friend. He hasn't reply me. oh well.

Anyway, Aaron came to my house for dinner just now. Surprised?
My uncle was suppose to come back for dinner but he wanted to eat out with his girlfriend. LOL
Then he didn't wanna tell my grandma.
Firstly cos she'll yell at him, including me though im not a fault.
Secondly, my grandma cooked a lot. For no reasons.
My uncle asked me to cover up for him. eat his share so he won't need to eat 2nd round after coming home.
I definitely can't finish. So I called my friends.
Thank god for Aaron. Who stay so near me.
He came:) He can eat a lot seriously.
He wasn't full after dining at my house.
He was having 2nd round at home anyway.
Aaron and I had to lie. opps..
HAHA anyway, today was fun! :)
God bless every hearts. Nothing to lose everything to gain.

2011-12-21T22:45:00.001+08:00

Currently listening to 'Higher with I believe in you' by hillsong.
I feel so peaceful. After all that up and down emotions that I had.
I just watched a movie. New Year's Eve.
It was all about love. How you kiss when the clock hits 12 and how you find your love just before the new year.
But all these are fairytales. It doesn't happen in reality. It would never be so romantic, never be so magical.
With God, of cos everything is possible.
But seriously, out of how many cases are like the movies?

Like who doesn't want to be loved by someone.
Who doesn't want to be hugger from the back all of a sudden.
Everyone in this world wants something special, to themselves at least.
Who doesn't want someone to miss them and otherwise.
I bet kids as young as 10 would want.
I want to care for someone, like my own.
I want to love someone, like I would ever lose them.
I want to have someone to hold even when we walk down the streets.
I want to walk with someone special at night along the beach.
Yeah all that, was just our imagination.
But it's nothing wrong. Imaginations are still God's creation because we are his creation too.

You can tell me, ' ahh look for someone who is possible' or whatever it is.
But I'm pretty sure you feel the same way as me.
We're even.
So yeah.
It hurts when you're in a relationship.
It hurts too when you're not.
But it's worse cos you can't love without being in a relationship.
Leave friends and family aside.
I'm talking bout the one that you've planned to settle down with.

2011-12-20T17:50:00.002+08:00

'Cause when I'm with him, I am thinking of you'
Currently addicted to this song. I thought this was something I've always felt.
I'm currently feeling this lost that I have and I really miss it.
I think I know what is it but I'm not gonna mention it here.
I think I should keep this to myself.
Well, I'm still contemplating whether to go Youth Camp or not.
So frustrated now. I really feel like taking a walk along the beach at night.
Alone perhaps. I wanna enjoy the wind myself.
*selfish* hah
I haven't even start on my 2nd essay. I hope I will be able to finish by today. So i'm free tomorrow onwards.
Think I need to go to the bank to draw money again. Sigh.
I'll use this money and return it to Zelig for the camp money if he's paying then I will use it to buy some presents for a few of my wonderful friends.
'I wish I was looking into your eyes'
Lovely song:)
Thank god for my bites. Not scratching anymore.
It's looking better, in my opinion.
Haven't been spending my nights wisely.
I wanna go out. Like how I always used to during school term.
Weird, I should be doing it during holidays but I'm not.
Maybe cos I don't have the same company anymore.
I wanna go overseas. Comon..
Anyway, I think I'll write about how stress was I last week. About finances.
LOL.2 more weeks before school. GODDD that's fast.
Sigh

2011-12-19T16:59:00.002+08:00

Thank god the bites are looking much better now :)
HAHA And now i'm only left with 1 more essay.
GREAT. Can't wait to finish it!
I'm into the mood of christmas most probably because Im going to a lot of christmas gatherings in kor's house and Team A and B are serving together on christmas! HOW COOL IS THAT.
yep that's all :)
I'm starting to hear god speaking to me. how sweet is that:)

2011-12-18T22:31:00.000+08:00

Dinner tomorrow at Tanah Merah was cancelled.
Well, it'll be better anyway.
I wouldn't wanna take the train in case it breaks down anytime..
And it's so far. I wonder what time would I reach home.

We had a Christmas Party at Kor's house!:)
It was nicely organized :)
And it was raining. Good weather to hang out with one another and chill.
We played Gestures and Taboo.
I didn't manage to play Gestures cos I was busy taking photo for Jerome's camera.
Well, before that we had games like 'don't forget the lyrics'.
It was on Christmas Carols! GODDD
My group had a lot of good vocals but too bad, the lyrics part, not so good. HAH
We had to guess characters during Christmas, I think, via chariots.
Quite cool :)
Thenn... yeah.
We need to exchange presents.
So all of us put our presents with Rachel and she labelled alphabets on each present.
And each of us had a alphabet.
So you take the present that has your own alphabet on it :)
But if you don't like it, you need to put it back and quickly take something else before someone else grab it!
OPPS! TALKING BOUT IT I FORGOT TO TAKE MY PRESENT HOMEE
Oh well, I'll take it when I go to their house again:)

I think the teasing has really overwhelmed me.
I am starting to think about everything before I sleep.
Starting to notice your presence during church and stuffs.
Ahh die.
GODDD It's so impossible.
Look at him just now, he was only with his computer-.-
Isn't that super weird.
His mood swings are scaring me.
For a moment, he could smile at you and say hi.
The next moment I know is that he walk past you and pretend that you were some stranger.

Well, everyone misses somebody.
Me too. It's him. So darn weird.
Just hope that it'll go away.
Well, I can be real emo about it or just forget about it.
I was really surprise to see him on the train together with the rest of the youths.
I mean, no one had an idea where he was, I think.
Ah whatever.
God said...
I believe...
He said....
He was just shy ._.
WHATEVER.
Love is in the air. The love season is now.
But look at me now :(
Pathetic state.
Ohh well.
Even Phlicia has hers :( HAHA not jealous but envious:)
OKAY ENOUGH AVELYN. WAIT FOR GOD'S PLAN. WAIT AND SEE WHAT HAPPENS.
FULLSTOP:)
byee

Like, love then relationship

2011-12-18T00:41:00.000+08:00

You may like a lot of things.
It may last for a while or even a week but when it comes to an extent, you love it.
You may love a person, a thing or an activity.
Humans are way too complicated.
Humans often let their feeling guide their heart.
I hate it sometimes because feelings are often stupid. It's not logical at all.
You don't think before you do anything because you let your feelings guide your heart.
After doing it, you think back and regret.
But do you really think by regretting would turn back in time?
Life is short. But people often think that they have 2nd chance.
How many 2nd chance do you have in life?

Well, I regretted doing a lot of things.
I regret breaking up with Darryl.
But what could I do?
I regret... ( Some things are not meant to be spoken.)

Well, I may like someone now.
But I don't want to rush into anything without any consideration.
I thought of consequences, results,process and etc.
Because I don't want to let my feeling lead the way.
I want to think logical.
I don;t want to have regrets in this life..
Like I've said, life is short.
How many times must I regret doing things till I learn my lesson?
I need to think and see from the bigger picture and another perspective.

But on the other hand, I might regret not trying to get to know you.
I might lose a good opportunity.
Why would I risk it?
Beats me.

Side-tracking~
There was this one time when I thought to myself.
I wasn't pretty.
I'm not really good in Netball actually.
I can't sing really well.
I must be crazy.
I might be just dreaming that I'm so important in certain people's life.
I don't know. What's so good about me?
People could be the one, in a million.
I could be a few hundreds and thousands, in a millon.
Low self esteem.
Since when was I? I don't know. Maybe cos I think I couldn't handle things well.
I'm tired of being so mature. Tired of settling and solving adult problems.
Who am I? I'm only a 14 year old girl.
God, I'm really going crazy.
Time to take a break.
It's sunday! Praise the Lord :)

2011-12-16T23:25:00.002+08:00

Dear god,
I pray that kor is alright.
Let your hands be upon him.
Amen.

2011-12-16T23:19:00.001+08:00

Anyway, I seriously have no idea who would look at my blog.
If anyone of you do read, please leave a msg.
At least I know I'm not writing to let no one see.
Thank you:)

2011-12-16T23:18:00.001+08:00

I'm getting worried for Raphael.
He hasn't reply my msges.
He don't normally do that.
What could he be doing.
What I'm very sure is that they are home.
Cos his brother was online.
That makes him at home- His whole family.
Sigh.
Before I checked facebook, I thought they met with an accident.
Scare me.
Comon! RAPHAEL PLEASE REPLY

2011-12-16T22:17:00.002+08:00

WEE! Just got back from 'mummy's' house! Dinner was awesome, to me:)
HAHA
Before that, Kor and I watched 'HereAfter'.
The movie was longgg.
Ended around 5? Then we went out to Serangoon Gardens to return the DVDs.
I went to Gardian Pharmacy to buy my cream for my sand fly bites.
There was a cream that I couldn't buy because I was underaged:(
Too bad, I bought the less effective one instead. Comparing to the one that I couldn't buy.
Well the one that I bought really did work!
WEE I hope it heals soon:( It's really ugly on the leg like this.
I didn't scratch my bites for the whole day! HAH
Accomplishment for me at least.

Oh well we played 'Kinet' after dinner. First 'Kinet Adventure' then 'Dance Central'. Cool or what.
I lost to 2 small kids in dancing:( Guess I'm shy in front of people. I go STIFF.
Anyway, my really 'awesome' brother kept teasing me about, his brother.

Look, something would only happen only if both parties are willing.
So no point convincing me:)
I don't deny. I would take a chance if it was possible.
But kinda impossible from what I'm seeing now.
Dream on Kor ^^

Last thing, I can't serve this week.
I think that's something good.
Cos I really want to just stay with the audience and just enjoy worship than to be on stage, worrying what lines to sing next.
I wanna be hyper during those fast songs. I wanna jump for god:)
But most of the times, I like one of the few that are jumping.
I remember that everyone was so high for god during church camps and after that.
But look at what happened now.
Leaders told us that we should keep this kind of spirits every sunday.
Don't make camps as something to boost you and only last for a few weeks.
But that's what's happening now.
Well, I wanna see if history repeats after the youth camp.
If it did, I'm gonna post on Facebook wall and say how I feel.
Practicew what you preach. Comon.
Alright, done for the day!
Should I do my work now?
I can do it next week though.
Im absolutely free :) haha
BYEE

2011-12-16T11:33:00.001+08:00

MORNING!
I woke up at few times this morning -.-
Well I haven't do my essays.
SIGHHHH
If only I was older, I could break free from all these.
Im only 15 next year. GODDD

2011-12-16T01:29:00.001+08:00

Alright, let's plan for tomorrow.
Instead, today. It's already 1.23am of 16/12/11.
Hmm.
Firstly I will wake up at 10?
Do my first essay.
I think I know what to write.
And then, I will eat lunch.
After lunch, I'll re paint my nails :)
What colour should I paint? Purple? Or christmas colour.
Anyway, the sand fly bites are killing me!!
Since 8/12.
It's still as itchy. OMGGG How do I stop it? And it's spreading.. GODDD
I need to sleep already. Before it starts to itch again.
Goodnight!:)
Enough of posting for today.

2011-12-16T00:26:00.002+08:00

Officially Missing You by Tamia is nice

2011-12-15T23:41:00.001+08:00

Just got back from Starbucks at Compass Point with Daniel Wee! :)
There was just so much laughter.
I felt like I owned the place cos I laughed like nobody's business.
COOL YO! HAH
Im currently listening to covers on youtube.
Found some really good vocalist.
MANNN I wanna learn how to harmonize properly :(
I think it's darn cool :) haha

2011-12-15T21:10:00.002+08:00

YEPPIE! Raphael just asked me if I wanna go to his house to watch a movie tomorrow!
Activities done for tomorrow! WEEEEEEE~

2011-12-15T21:07:00.000+08:00

So. Keith asked me why everybody left the group chat on whatsapp.
Casue no one is talking.
and cos he was posting some irritating pictures which we all don't like it.
Simple.
And we can be more open without them. No offence! :)

2011-12-15T21:01:00.000+08:00

ohh man! car accident! Daniel wee will only reach around 9 plus. SIGH.
I scared that it'll tire him out. He needs to work tomorrow but I don't so yeahhh
I'll wait since he said he'll be fine.
Mannn, should I watch yi chye play tomorrow?:)
I think Im blogging like mad compared to last time. HAH

2011-12-15T18:06:00.002+08:00

Alright. I'm waiting for Daniel wee's reply. If he wants to go for dessert.
Then people like Zelig,Jasmin would tag along!
Not so sure of jasmin since she stays so far from me.
MANN, SHE SHOULD REALLY MOVE TO PURPLE LINE

2011-12-15T16:49:00.003+08:00

I think I know what am I feeling now.
I feel lonely.
I just need someone so badly now.
Wanted to call jasmin to stayover at my place but guess she's busy with her measurements.
Sigh.

2011-12-15T16:38:00.001+08:00

I just remembered. Abigail left for Venice today. She'll be flying off to.. London and transite to paris and stuffs. Mann I want that too. So many people went for holidays this year. To those places that I would really love to go. Sigh. HAHA Whatever. when I earn my own money, I'll go.

2011-12-15T16:23:00.001+08:00

Oh god I can't do any homework now!
My essays need to be from the given newspaper but I lost it!
WHAT AM I SUPPOSE TO WRITEEEE

Suddenly, blogging became part of my life.

2011-12-15T16:12:00.002+08:00

Listen to this! It's really nice! Made by fellow Singaporeans!;)
The girl is my house coordinator! WAY TO GO MISS IRIS!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CfB1-CKmAKE&feature=related

2011-12-15T16:11:00.001+08:00

Thought of asking Yi Chye to come for dinner. But not sure if he's too tired to come after his match. Hmmm...

2011-12-15T15:47:00.002+08:00

Im currently addicted to the song 'Should've Kissed You' by Chris Brown. It's a nice song to dance to. HAH random.
Anyway, Im troubled. Financially challenged.
I just went to the bank to draw some money to buy presents.
Drew money out for my grandmother too. Now I have responsibility for the allowance of her. Im not even working.
DUH
I can draw money out all I want but the thing is I need to be discipline.
I don't know how to decribe this feeling of me now.
I feel broke.
Bankrupt.
But to know that my bank still has money.
Im just confused.
I feel broke at home. yeah.
Therefore, I've decided no to go for youth camp.
I don't wanna spend my grandma's money. She didn't even have enough to pay for the groceries just now. Not enough to survive for the whole month though she could have paid just now.
I feel bad.
I have enough for myself yet my grandma doesn't
I think my uncle is gonna give her later.
But.
AHHH whatever.
I feel like im like any adults out there giving allwance to my family.
Weird.
This made me think what kind of job should I get.
To get some BIG JOB, I need to study hard.
My New Motivation.
I wanna make sure as I grow up, money isn't a issue...
I want my family to be well fed and sheltered. (like as if they are not)
But more than this.
Anyway I didn't know I had a youtube acc until I logged into blogger?
I went youtube and they said I've logged in!
COOL DUDE.
But like as if Im gonna do anything on youtube.
I only listen to music or whatever on youtube. I don't comment or like/dislike anything.
Simple lifestlye.

Oh have I said what I've thought to work as!
Well, pretty interesting.
I wanna be a scientist. But it'll mean hardcore studying starting from, next week. For science.
Yep because I know I have to study really hard, I wanna just focus on studies next year and forget about all the feelings I have. Who knows I might also attract someone. LOL!
Since I like traveling and meeting new people, I thought of air stewardess!
I think it's pretty cool.
I wanted this since I was in primary school?
It hasn't changed till now. Cool yeah?!
But it's not a long term job.
Once you have a family and have kids, Im sure I don't wanna be air stewardess anymore... Then I'll need to have other options.
And I wonder what can I work as after that.
That's the problem...
I wanna be really successful. (like who doesn't)
Ahh LEAVE IT ALL TO GOD.
Actually why should I worry so much when I know that god already has a plan for me.
I should just go wwith the flow and see what god has for me.
soo... YEAH
I have a lot to say today.
I wanna be loved, a lot.
okay ahh I'll just stop here.
I still have Chinese essays to type out. 2 OF IT!
AWWMANNNNN

2011-12-14T11:33:00.001+08:00

looking back on the posts I posted, I feel childish. Can't believe I posted so much bout darryl. Surprised much.

2011-12-14T11:15:00.002+08:00

After looking at Raphael's blog, I thought of mine.
I do agree thats it's pretty dead already but I wanna make it alive again.
Well, it feels really good to wake up early and post. But I have no idea what to post about.
Let's start with where i've stopped.
Well,about Darryl, we broke, like right after christmas. It was my decision. It was cos of religion problems. Im a christian and he's a catholic. It was impossible at that point. But after some time I realized that if we could have given time to it, things may changce when we grow older. I did regret but, I believe it's all god's plan.
yep, got some conflict as I went along. awkward moments.
Full of it.
I've been hanging out with the young adults lately.
I feel extremely guilty for leaving out the youths.
On days when I wish to spend time with them, they will be having other things on their own.
on days when I join the young adult, the youths would ask me to join them.
hard decisions to make.
Well, my wish in this december is to spend more time with the youths especially with Raphael!
Cos I thought back on those times when he was always there for me but i've always rejected him. Sigh, Im such a bad little sister to have.
But don't worry, I'll change for the better, yep!
Im kinda jealous. I mean, this is kinda like the love season. Everyone is falling in love and getting into relationships.
It's not that I don't have.
It's either the guys likes me but I don't or I don't dare to take the first step.
ahh god's plan god's plan. That's what I always tell myself whenever things ain't right. Of cos when things are right, I know that it's god plan.
So, I'll wait.
imm currently having this sand fly bites on my leg. It's killing me!
HELPPPPPP
Alright, cya soon! time to bathe and meet yi chye to watch his match!

Im finally blogging.

2011-07-26T21:57:00.002+08:00

I blog because I feel like typing something.
I feel so riped off. exposed and naked. Im vulnerable.
I don't know why have I fallen so deep this time round. I really do like him a lot. He would be the picture that I see each time as I lay on my bed. I couldnt sleep. All I could think was him. Him being able to choose one of us. I hate being kept in suspence. Im all alone here, struggling to survive my everyday routine. Im having holiday now. I have no homework, little training. How can I possibly stop thinking about him and carry on with my life. I pray about it everynight before I hit the hay. This is killing me. I really like you a lot. But yet you broke my heart.
I msged you last night. And you did not reply. And yet the answer you gave me was that you were lazy. Do you know how much it hurt me. It's just like a knife that stabbed through my heart. It's not visible but yet, the pain is comparable to the physical pain. And the wound might even take longer to heal. Im sorry, but Im a very weak person when it comes to love. Im sensitive. I try not to be but each time it fails.I would break down and cry out. I cry until I feel alright. And then get stabbed again. It's like a cycle. Im so sick of it. Why is there even love that exsist on this planet. I think Im not the only one but would somebody just pity me. Im not one who can torlerate everything. Im not strong enough to handle it and you know it. You know god said that some of my church friends are crying to him. So does he hear my cries now. Talk to me, god. tell me what to do. Do things that are right. Should I tell him how I feel when he was gone. Should I tell him how much he is to me. But again I do not have the rights to lose him, do not have the rights to let my feelings affect him. Im sorry,but if I like him, I should let him be happy right? Why not just let go of it? It's not that im not interested in you anymore, but it's more of Im so hurt to carry on. Im just not important enough right. am I? Are my feelings not visible. How much have I spent msging overseas. If I cry to sleep, it tells me that I really love you cos you've hurt me so much.
Sometimes, I just don't like adults coming into the situation.
you take years to reply. Should I give up. yeah maybe. I've fallen so so so deep this time. I might crumble into pieces this time round.. What is the meaning of love in my heart now- it's painful.

2010-10-22T13:46:00.001+08:00

I don't care if you're not gonna talk to me, going to be angry with me for ever. its me. you'll just have to accept the fact that im like that

2010-09-10T19:39:00.004+08:00

where were you when I needed you? where? I was alone, left out and I told you about it. you didnt comfort me, didnt do anything but instead , you replied so slow. you didnt even say bye to me and we just ended our conversation. why? why? why must you treat me like that when I love you so much, put in so much effort? I wished i could forget all those hurting moments but you left me a scar, it will never go away. am i that distracting to you? how about her?
and i realized that when you had problems, I will always ry my best to help. but you, no way.
why? when would you enlighten me? i love you but yet you hurt me over and over again. . .

2010-08-30T22:42:00.002+08:00

heyy! im in school now :) well but I dont feel happy. i dont feel fresh. i just feel the same. maybe tomorrow will be better when I go school and get back in touch with my friends :) well . Darryl darryl, you made me upset again
suckish :( well saw that bitttccc :O wahh I really can't stand it, I wanna slap her you know? sigh. oh and that matter, can't serve with you already leh :( I don't daRE TO serve , to sing with him . . . okay im not in the mood to post now. bye :) I love you darryl but you hurt me , again ;(

2010-08-28T21:29:00.003+08:00

hai, now , I have loads of time to post. okay I went for practice in church today. It was great! well i wont be so complacent just like Darryl okay :P aww I miss him! I miss you dear :( I promise I'll be strong, I'll wait for you. let's pray that o levels will soon be over. All our exams will be over. we can enjoy ourselves, spending time with only two of us. the fact that we both cried last night, I know that everything will be good after o levels. All the best. I've said my piece. cos I have said everything I want so many times before. Love you Darryl!

2010-08-27T22:49:00.002+08:00

I hung up the phone isn't because I am tired but I didn't want to continue cos we weren't talking much. I already tried enough to keep the conversation interesting but I didn't know it was boring. until you could msg while we kept silent. I didn't want to keep quiet. I wanted to talk but you. you. Im speechless

Came to my rescue :)

2010-08-27T19:17:00.002+08:00

wow! I love this song freom hillsong :D well and there's gonna be amazing grace, I'm afraid that I'l tear ;( never mind, I'll stay strong :) and I don't know why wouldn't you reply my msg. is it because you don't want me to go back to school? I want. I want to visit you guys but you wouldn't give me a chance to. yeah I thought I could buy something for you . But im not going back , so yeah. well well, today I went lunch with auntie :) then did the burden maths homework :O haha. Tomorrow got practice! im soo dead. pray pray pray! Darddy must pray for me! I don't care :D haha! Well, got my stick and im using it like there's no tomorrow :P I shall bring it everywhere I go :D oh and last monday, I went to toa payoh, just to watch the volleyball match. Eygpt VS Usa. Of cos, usa won bbut I actually supported Eygpt! but at least thehy almost won !? stupid
then went to hospital on wed and missed training. such a badass :P but no choice what, I had to accompany my grandparents who doesn't know where to go in the hospital -.-
yeah and I had this random Serangoon Garden Secondary School guy, was once a classmate but not for now! -- he talked to me -.- Like as if he know me very well -.-''
But he knows Richard. - That's my classmate now :P haha confusing? yeah I agree :D
Now im stuck with my chinese essay question. I don't know what to write anymore! That sucks!
I still haven't complete. And I realized that the song 'pyramid' is soo awesome! it is sang by Charice. okay, im not trying to act pro to judge her but I think the voice is fake. :O like , how can the voice be so mature -.- plus, you should hear a difference. she changes !
To Charice's Fans, Im sorry! T.T Im just stating the fact :D hahaha
I feel like just writing a lot in this post cos I got thee feeling of writing :D
well, Darryl is now playing games on the com -.- Command and conquer something like that :p
oh and jasmin! re take your chinese o levels lar! A2 can get A1 one :D so you can save your one mark to make it up for other subjects :) haha! so random :P Im thinking of what to talk now but I guess that's all :) byee peeps :D

2010-08-27T00:41:00.000+08:00

Love you ~
Never leave me alone , never hurt me again alright? :)

Im busy! superb busy :)

2010-08-27T00:19:00.001+08:00

well well, I　went to so many places this month! Thailand, Malaysia and Taiwan! cool right? :D well for more info on it, you ask me and I'll answer cos Im not in mood to type :P
okay, recently cos Im done with my work , with those holidays, it really drives me crazy, made me thought wildly! okay, yeah you didn't mind accom. him but I mind. Mind your actions alright? I just don't like the fact that its been done like that. this way. I hate it.
what do you want? ! im glad that I know how to control myself even when I had my worse. If not, I would have went up to you and gave you a slap. - hope it will wake you up and ask you why are you doing this to me. Both of us already have big plans you know. its not just a normal relationship, but a very deep one, its difficult to just break us. if you wanna play with me, be that way! I'll fight till the very end with you. ~
well well, so, I didn't had internet access this few days so I couldn't go online and contact you guys, sorry! okay, maybe you can say that ' is the phone fake ?' I mean cos some of the contacts are not in my phone so I use internet to comm. ! :D
hahaha! now now , finally! im having a broadband modem!like duhh I need it okay :D haha
but hope I find it useful and not just asking for it for fun :) and im going back to school on monday night! nobody is fetching me to school! :( I have so many things to carry and so what if im taking taxi to school? Don't I need some family support? so what you guys work? so everybody's parents wouldn't have send them to school! lazy, cos you guys are lazy! I just wished that I could own a car, drive myself anywhere I want. I wouldn't need to trouble anybody. I'll just depend on myself. its all about me myself and I . not you guys anymore. haa. oh yeah, I broke a bowl -.- I still haven't told my grandma about it but Im going to try all ways to clear it ^^haha
soo yeah. . . and im serving this sunday! Im soo nervous! its the first time im doing this.
yeah, Im going to pray real hard , asking for help :) hhaha
and im stuck with my chinese essay question :O suckish, but luckily Darryl helped me :) poor him, after class he's already so lethargic but yet he still give me so many hints :D LOVE YOU! :) haha okay im done :) byee :D * ps sorry for not posting for such a long period cos im too busy :P haha byee :D

2010-07-21T20:43:00.000+08:00

if I didnt see it, I didnt know that you had a pic with.

I am in pieces, again

2010-07-21T20:17:00.002+08:00

okay fine. its like for so many times, I have to get that feeling. you wasn't even with me when I talked to you. yeah now its like. ahh I just don't like it.go ahead and tell them, you won. I shall just be a silent girlfriend, keep quiet, dont interfere with your life. should I? I dont know but when I was pretty upset just now. you sat down then leave him alone standing. like. i wanted to like ahh never mind. the feeling of jealousy , the anger in me , the saddness in me, I wanted to just stop and walk my way. I dont know why I give sso much. I really love you a lot . but you just give me the sense that you dont compared to last time. sigh.

2010-07-20T22:14:00.002+08:00

Poor pooh! I drool over it! I don't mind drooling over you but pooh is more precious xp
hahaha! yep just talked to you, went well I guess? Im planning to compose a song. its like I have bits and pieces but its not complete. thats stupid. whoa 2nd day of cnis.
I hate it cos I dont like. it affeccts the tests taken xp cos its different environment. well , I can't wait for maths lasson tomorrow！its like the lesson that I can work most. hahaha. today had training. it was damn tiring! and I've became blacker after training under the hot sun! yesh yesh! Rememberr to bring the mathematical set tomorrow!! now im going to pack my stuffs for tomorrow. byebye :D

2010-07-18T18:43:00.001+08:00

I want. I want to die. I can't study you know. you keep me thinking about it. you make me feel insecure.

2010-07-18T18:40:00.001+08:00

nobody is there when I needed them. I hate my life now. I want to collapse but I couldn't. its so diffitcult. why don't I just die and get over with things?

2010-07-18T16:32:00.000+08:00

I really really love you but do you ?

2010-07-18T12:49:00.002+08:00

I apologize for not posting for soo long! well, today is sunday , my anni! DC! 5th month :D:D
okay, I attended a wedding dinner last night. It was soo touching! I felt like getting married so sudden. and I told you about it. its like to last long, just don't give into temptations, believe one another, love one another, thats all. this one is lasting not about other things. okay yeah, cross fingers! yep. and I quarreled with Jeraldine recently. Well, I don't want to repeat myself and to prevent from anymore misunderstandings. and I just realised , I don't need anyone of you now.
of cos only for some? it's like yeah I help you whenever you're in need of help but when I asked, nobody helps. yeah you must be wondering what kind of teammates is this? Luckily, I got Regine! sigh sigh I owe Regine too much therefore I offered her a ride to CCAB every morning :)
yep and syazana! whoa you're indeed a person who brighten people's day. apart from somethings. this 2 babes surely helped me! thank you! :D together we will survive through the many trips ! yeap . Darryl. I typed out something in my phone last night before I sleep. it's in my notes. well. you know that I think of you every now and then? no matter what, something will just remind me of you. you know you're special. but sometimes you just give me the feeling that you don't love me just like the past. And its 18/7, you'll be leaving very soon. I don't want to let you go you know. now its like the msg so short, currently. you give me the feeling that you don't feel like msging me. this are just my feeling, not trying to mention other things. I feel so insecure. I thought we were fine. I wanted to hold you you longer but you gave a little push so fast. I decide not to tell you but to write here cos I know you wouldn't look at it.you said if these kind of things continue, you would give up. I don't want. Im going to hold you tight. now I can't afford to lose you. very soon im going to various countires. would you miss me? would you cherish me even more after im back? I would. would you lose faith in this relationship? would you go for others? I don't know. this time is the best time to prove it. I really hope that you really love me. im dying little more inside. one night when I was at the camp, you asked me, ' I've been treating you badly recently right?' yes you did. I love you, always.

2010-07-09T23:34:00.003+08:00

yeah yeAH continue typing , replying and for get about me huh? I wished I was dead but I can't bear to leave you. . . I love you, you know that? I thought my life was perfect. But every little thing, seems to disturb the peaceful life of mine.

2010-07-03T20:04:00.002+08:00

Why must it be you? sigh. its like whoa, does it even concerns you? who is she to you? whoa whoa whoa. shocked surprised! cannot use phone is it? I promised Raphael that Im not going to get jealous. But I just can't help it! kor help me :( sigh. I don't know what to do.
why am I so afraid to crush down and lose my heart again
I don't know, I can't see, what's come over me
why am I so afraid to break down and lose my mind again
I don't know , I can't see, what's come over me.
I don't know. You know that I don't like it already. ahh whatever. Im suppose to do homework. but when I saw that then my mood was ruined. My ideas for compo are all gone. Thanks.

2010-06-19T01:22:00.002+08:00

Raymond Lam! I love your songs okay! and the drama series :)

Im in school- Sst now! :D

2010-06-17T21:03:00.002+08:00

hahaha! Look, Im in school now, suppose to do the science project but Corrine and myself finished before time so we're now slacking! :D We can't log in to facebook though -.- Cos it's not allowed. But blogging was allowed cos we need to also post on our science blog :D:D Cool right?
hahaha! Sigh! Number 17 will be the date that I must remember for life. Can I saw it concerns life and death? Bleh, Kor don't expect me to tell you! I'll only tell dar :D:D hahaha! Aww, Im feel so unease now. hahaha! Aiyo! boyfriend soo careless! Left his transponder at cms , then borrowed mine :P must return me later uh? :) hahaha! blah blah blah, so bored.
Oh yeah! I just had my Napfa Test , the 5 stations excluding 2.4 :D:D
But But! Tomorrow morning! We're going to take it! :( I cannot run my best cos of something uh :( stupid :( If I fail uh, I'll fail that thing for goodness sake!!!! Dumb Dumb :(
LALALA, Jeraldine and Brandon , sitting on the tree , k.i.s.s.i.n.g! hahaha! Both of them in com lab :P Jeraldine! I caught you catchiong a glimpse of Bran!!! hahahaha! bleh, byebye :D:D

2010-06-13T18:44:00.002+08:00

Im seriously sorry, feeling vvery guilty.I just hope that we can go back to the past like how we get along with each other so well. 5 more days to our 4th month anni. I really don't want to lose you. Can we bulid our ' bridge' back? I know I've lost your trust but I really hope that I can gain it back.
Trust me I will. Oh you already don't trust me, how are you going to do that? never mind. I'll try my best . I'll do whatever it takes to gain the trust that you had for me. I don't want to lose you because I love you. Fogive me.

2010-06-12T20:33:00.001+08:00

waahh, see, they got so many photos taken together!! wE? one also don't have :( soo sadd

2010-06-12T20:17:00.003+08:00

Oppos, forgot to tell you that, the under 14's squad won! again :D it's the second wining!!
sigh sigh , I want my EOS 550D ! It's so damn cool :( I want but the price uh, a bit beyond my reach
:(:( I want I want! I'm thinking of it soo badly :( sigh sigh. Anyone kind enough to buy for me? :D:D
guess no one T.T sigh sigh, never mind :( Boyfriend! why you eat your buffet so long? :( people waiting for you leh. sigh sigh. now that I've studied and revised, why do I still feel so insecure? I don't feel well prepared, what should I do? 0.o and and, aiyo! so many things! never mind :(

2010-06-11T23:54:00.002+08:00

hahaha. what a joke. you didn't realise that I was upset. never mind. continue with your soccer.
byebye. nightt s

2010-06-11T23:23:00.003+08:00

Im hurt. Again. You know after the camp, there was this separation thingy? I wanted to like bulid up our relationship today but you didn't notice I think? yeah, I cried in front of you, thinking how many times you hurt me. Well. I don't know. Just like what kor says, it depends on God, See if he wants us to last long. We can't predict what's going to happen but we can avoid it. yes we can.
And on has to sacrifice most of the things. Its painful. Aching inside is a terrible feeling to have.
I don't know. Who loves me more ethen you do? I know God but other then him? I can't list down.
I really agree on what kor had said, what if I had the dagger of time? Can I turn back the time?
byebye

Children Camp!

2010-06-10T17:47:00.002+08:00

Hello! :D:D I'm back from camp :D yesterday actually :) well, a lot of things happened.
Sunday was the start of the camp. I wasn't joining the camp initially. But when I helped out a bit in the camp before going home, I felt this urge, asking me to stay!! I couldn't resist the temptation to go to the camp when I remembered how much I enjoyed the previous camp last year when I was a camper :D Hence, I decided to stay over without registering , without joining any groups and be a helper in the camp cos they were lacking in man power :) So Sunday after helping out in church up till 6pm, Michelle's father fetched me home :D:D Thank You! It really saved me a lot of time to go home and pack my clothes, books and training stuffs :) After packing and dining at home, I straight went to church, filled with excitment :D:D I had to take bus to church though, despite carrying such a heavy bag on my back, at night :O It was scary to actually walking to church alone in the dark when I alighted at the bus stop opposite my church :/ When I reached church, Raphael ( Kor) was actually surprised to see me cos he didn't expect me to be there cos I didn't tell him :P But I did just that he didn't heard me :) Yep , luckily I bathed before I went to church because I know there's limited number of nathing cubicals? And there were a lot of female campers compared to the males so I was smart enough to aviod that kind of situation where people have to wait and rush :P hahaha
So we had worship ( worthship) after dinner :) Frankly speaking, I really enjoyed worship sessions :) Cos Im now in the youth service where is different from the children worship and I really missed the actions a lot :) Then Uncle Kek gave sermon on something, not really sure cos I attended it half way as I just reached at that point of time :) And then we had. . . Opps!!! I forgot! Diee!!!
Never mind, let's skip to bed time :D hahaha. So , everyone was suppose to sleep at 10.30 I think?
If there's something wrong, pls tell me!! Ohh! I remembered! :D:D They had the treasure hunt :D
They must find all lightsticks in the dark , like find it, you can choose either to go in a group or individual :P Most of them went individual except for Fulleton! Kor's group :D:D
But then there was a problem , all of them were making too much noise and got scolded by the Camp Com, Jie Jie Joyce! :D:D Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you, there's this very young female camper, helsa , I guess, she was crying cos of home sick :( Then I had to take care of her :) But the thing I don't like is that she's too sticky!!! I'll tell you about her on the way when I tell you the story :)
Okay, so the leaders and comittees had debrief, I was also asked to go for no reasons though. yep :)
Then so many things happened. The girls were making a lot of noise. They keep coming to us, complaining about the camper who were disturbing their sleep . While, girls are like that basically .
hahaha. So after that I went to study :) Hardworking right? :D:D I have a lot of work so I had to balance my time if I choose to go for camp. Or should I say manage my time? :)
yep, Next day we went to East Coast Park!! WE went to bulid sandcastle :D We were though how to make the sandcastle using different tools. We were suppose to build the nicest and tallest sandcastle :D:D Michelle went too :) I was kind enough to say' let's help Daniel's group' okay?!?
Daniel! We helped your group, Raffles, to win the competition okay! You owe us a lot! Big time :D
Sorry, we didn't help other groups :P hahaha! Michelle and I helped to carry the water buckets to fill it up from the sea then pass it to them while they do other things to save time :) And we heloped to build the most important, one and only castle too! They couldn't do it at first okay! But Michelle and I could :D:D hahahaha! Then we had some games like dog and bone and stuffs :) Oh ! Not to mention, Water Bomb! WE helped Raffles again to fill up the plastic bags with water :) Its was fun okay! Mich and myself didnt participate cos we didn't want to get wet. :P While others got drenched from head to toe like the leaders, Josiah, Raphael, Daniel and Timothy! hahaha! They're jokers okay! :D okay, then Daniel won the sandcastle competition and the water bomb, what a luck :D
hahaha! yep yep yep, this tim I had to bathe, wait and rush -.- hahaha! yepp, then the girl suddenly hugged me while I was watching them, playing :X So scary!!! * run* Dear, you should know what I meant :x yep yep yep :) Okay ,the dinner an worship again :) okay, skip to bed time again :D I had to look after the girl's bunk now :( I can't go for debrief :( Actually, I really wanted to go for debrief but I'm just another extra person, can't really do anything :( yep. Sigh.. . . . . .
Okay then day 3! We had special night! All groups have to perform :D:D Timothy! You owe me too!
I helped you okay!! Narrating while having headache, can die! So painful still ask me to think the script! Never die before uh!? :D:D hahaha! okay, then you won 2nd okay!! okay, never mind :)
Yep, Josiah was the first :) Congrats! :) yep yep yep then we had mid night worship session :O We stayed up late till 12 plus , still worshipping! Thats damn cool :D Everybody was so tired, ME!! I just came back from traning on that day then stil need to stay up!! Dying already!!!Okay then those few night I couldn't call Boyfriend!! So sad :(:( I miss him a lot though :) Got this separation feeling, weird feeling but I really just want to concentrate on God for that camp :) Yep :) Okay, then finally we called :D at 10.30pm while everyone had a break :) I excused myself a while lar huh? xP haha!
then finally , the last day, very sad :( I had to leave early for some reasons :( hor dear??!?!
yep, they sweet and cute Samantha , I think, prayed for me!! :D Soo cute! She said I'm her best friend you know?!? :P She prayed for my game lar :) hahaha! See Dear! She pray for me! you didn't! :/ HAHA! okay okay, My hand super tired after typing soo much :X Byebye!!

I'm sorry

2010-06-05T16:05:00.002+08:00

You know, I was certainly upset yet again. Jealous should be the word to use. You know, I don't know why must be her to study together, going to your house. I don't know. Im tired. Real tired of all these things. How many times will my tears hit the ground? How many times must I pick up the broken pieces of my heart just to love you back again? Im running out of ' glue' the stick it back again. Have you really ever considered how I feel? Do you know? Why am I the one who has always been suffering? Yes yes you promised you will never break your promises but other things? I really don't know. I don't have the strength to know now. It's so difficult for me. I, I can't move on.
Over and over again, I told myself, love is all about sacrifice. But it was too much for me. I sacrificed, yes I did. But I let you stabbed right into my heart. It keeps bleeding for sure. The pain, you can never understand. Nobody in this world understands, for humans. I gonna learn from my pain. But I won't give up. Though I might just collapse but I'll never let go. I ask myself, who do I wanna be. No one, don't wanna be no one be me. With all this, I can't concentrate what I suppose to concentrate. My studies. You know, I feel like telling you this yesterday, ' you know I think I should sleep and you can continue to talk to her okay so I won't disturb you' and immediately hang up the phone. But I sacrificed again. I was hurt yesterday, today and how many more days must I suffer?
3 billion? Give me a break. Im over myself . Im tired. Exhausted . Lethargic. it's just madness. Forgive me. Bye.

2010-06-05T00:30:00.003+08:00

Indeed I was upset and kind of disappointed. You know, that was the first time that you've asked me to wait for so many times just to reply the msg? Yeah, you might think Im jealous but could you consider my feelings? Like if I do this to you I bet you'll also feel sad a little bit. Im, Im your girlfriend. I mean like, I don't know I just don't know why. My heart feel from the top to the very bottom of my heart. And we've been running out of topics. Hope we can talk more tomorrow. I really don't want anymore argument about 'jie' . You'll just say that I sensitive. You know I felt like crying over the phone when I talked to you between 5/5 and 6/5. I don't know how many more times must I give in, sacrificing the pain in the heart which felt like a dagger stabbed right into my heart to save this relationnship. Jeraldine and friends said I was too kind, too generous to give in like that. I don't know if I'm doing the right thing. But I really felt stupid when I lied, saying that I was okay just to ask you to go to sleep. Fine with me. Im just confused. I don't know what I should do. Let's pray.

Dear God,

I thank you for giving me the things I have now. I appreciate it. But now, there's a problem. I don't know what to do. You should know the situation. What am I suppose to do? Please guide me through the dark, with your power. Make me strong, give me strength and restore me.Im losing out.

I don't want to cry over and over again for the same old situation that has been occurring since the day I knew him. Bless us, lead the way for you know what to do. Bring us to the light.

Relieve my pain. Lord, Im praying hard for this cos I really want things to work out between us. I don't know what to do. I want to shout out to you. I can't. Lord, nobody understands how I feel exceot you. He wouldn't have the awareness that Im hurt but only you do. I cried so many times over him but this time, let me cry over you. Im weak now. Help me. I would go the narrow road for it is difficult but you'll be there. Bless my life and give my thoughts of goodness. I pray that everything will go smoothly. Lord, for other things, I would not mention here.

In Jesus Name I pray

Amen!

Im really hurt now, do you know that? I bet you don't know. All you'll say is that Im sensitive. You will never be able to understand. you know. sometimes you really make me wonder if there's anything wrong with me. you make me do everything. You made me dance , you made me sing, you made me shout your name and mostly made me cry. I don't want to lose you but I don't know how to solve this. Im sorry.

Feng Shan Game Later :D

2010-06-04T11:40:00.002+08:00

Whoa! I'm going to have a game later at Feng Shan Primary with the pri 6s :) Heard that they're quite good okay! hmm, but I think WE'RE BETTER!! Don't you think so? :) I'll try to do my best but my poor ankle has problem perverting! I have to tape my leg too :( soo troublesome :/ yep yep :) I just found out something big yesterday :/ Was kind of depressing cos , ahh a lot of things I heard and happened too :/ Well, yesterday , after training under a scorching hot sun, we went to causeway point to eat as usual :) Well, we went to Kfc for lunch and tend to sit together. The 'we' includes , Jeraldine, Regine, Fatin , Syafiqah and myself :D yep so we found a 4 sitter but then one would be left out so syafiqah and I sat at a 2 sitter while the rest say at the 4 sitter :) you know, we were talking baout a lot of stuffs , after almost everything :) dear should know huh? 0.o Sigh! Dar! I told you! you just didn't believe me and said I was sensitive :/ That's why girls are always smarter then boys :P I got a feeling that IT'S snatching away :(:( aiyo . . . too bad you treat her as your bestfriend but I don't know in what way does she treats you :/ Beware boyfriend!!! HAHAHAHAHA! umhmm, I don't know what to buy for your present seriously :x But I have thought of 3 things now XD M,M,W :D Wanna guess ? :D:D aiyo, I don't like posting already :) byeee, I'm going to eat my lunch :) Cheese :D

GREAT NEWS!

2010-06-01T20:01:00.004+08:00

YEY! I could finally train and play tomorrow's match at Kallang against Blaze Flame! :D Soo awesome! Wei! Dear you can't stop me from doing anything now :D:D Gidion said I could at least play 2 quarters :) :) Now, I'll train even harder during training time cos my desire for training had increased :D:D I'll try to do my best :) Today I didn't train too :( cos I had training before Physio so Coach didn't know that I can train :( So I've wasted another training day :( Soo wasted okay! But I really had fun :) I was hopping team today cann! I was actually under Noraida's training then I went to other court to shoot which is Hyacinth's court so I went there just to distract Corrine from getting the ball and shoot :D:D though I know I'm extraa :*(But seeing Jeraldine and friends training, I really felt closer :) Wished I was not under 14 :(:( ( See the shoes; There're soo close to each other- represents the ffriendship that we have between each other in the team) :D
but at least I've spent time that worthwhile with deaar :D At Dhoby Ghaut Mrt Station -.- With his school uniform! So we must be careeful :) We were all along hiding our school's logo printed on the uniform :P Yep cos poor dear had extra lesson which was like 9 to 5 initially but up to 4 only :D
So we go lepak one corner XD Wei! Dar! Now I'm influenced by you! :( Better pick up a storybook and make sure my english can pass! :D HAHA! Boyfriend, Thank You For Everything That Was Sacrificed By You :) You just make my day cos I know I'll be safe with you :) And stop pulling uh!!
If not I sue you!!! :D:D hahaha! Okay okay. Awwww. I've been asking myself to study! But I just can't concentrate on my studies except computer -.- ADDICTION! I'm soo dead :(:(
Shhhh I set time :) I'll only go online for 1.5h :) hahahaha but today not counted XP yey :) Tomorrow got game :D Imm sooo going to play :D:D Byee people :D:D Daaarrrrrryyyyyyyyllllll *says*
cheese! :D:D

What a boredom -.-

2010-05-31T18:16:00.002+08:00

Ohh! I didn't train today! All because of my ankle that I sprained it clumsily? -.- Soo sad :( :(
They did so many new things today! I want to try :(:( Dear also disagreed with me training but I can run, jump, dodge and etc that involves my ankle!! Why can't just let me train :(( It was super bored for me to just stand beside and take photos while they have so much fun in training! :( okaay, tomorrow I might be able to train cos I didn't pass the physio form to Noraida that says what I can't do :D:D
HAHA! Too bad :D Aww, he os fonally done with chinese :) Well, he scored 12 out of 20 for chinese paper ( ) X But if he doesn't mind, why bothers me?>.< I don't know maybe I thought he wanted higher xp right right right? :D Boyfriend please continue to work hard on your upcoming papers okay? :) Remember your 10points goal? 0.o You must be able to meet RI standard XD HAHA!
umm and please next time, DON'T BE SOO CHILDISH! Enough is enough, don't add on I cannot tarhan! XD hahaha! Well, I had a great day with you today :) And it'll always be :) I feel damn childish today leh :X Must be cos I'm still a child :D:D hahaha! aiyo, next week going, soo scary! :S But I'm brave, can make it one! :D:D hahaha! chill chill :)I'm sooo tired now :( byebyee :)
Chhhheeeeeee Keeeee Xuuuuaaaannn :D

2010-05-30T19:59:00.002+08:00

Hello! I'm back from dinner :) I had cold bean curd -.- No doubt first time eating it but it was nice :D very shiok :) yeah, thats the only dish I remembered cos I like that one :D:D I feel very childish lately, skin damn thick :P right right right? :D hehe. aiyo, I must set timetable already!!

umm, yeah, got a lot of homework :(:(

Let's see :

I have maths test after holidays so I'll have to revise statistics. I also have maths homework on geometry where I'm needed to draw a perpendicular bisector and join the line to don't know where and blah blah blah :) I'm not sure for that but I'm going to approach Madam Ng that's for sure :D I also have English Literature which is to read the book of ' heroes' inside out; knowing what happened in chapter one; chap 2 and continue with it if Mr Lee asks. Sounds stupid , I know but whatever he does, you must follow cos he's they teacher! So for the book, I have to go to one of the libraries to either borrow the guidebook or the book itself :) I also have to revise for science as I have test after hoilidays straight away. I don't really know what to reevisee leh :(

I shall ask people :D umm, yeah , Chinese -.- Chinese damn burden am I right dar? 0.o soo stupid :( I did my compo already :D But I still have to prepare for the chinese oral. -.- yep yep :)

Ohh boyfriend! Don't get too stress up for tomorrow's O's okay? :) Let's pray :)

Dear God,

I pray that you would bless his thoughts, his mind so as to excel in his Chinese O level's exam tomorrow morning. Give him strength, wisdom, perserverance, intelligence,alert-ness , calm-ness, faith and courage. Let him be wise in making his choice of answers, let him be quick in his speed for answering questions, let his eyes open wide to read the questions carefully and answer carefully. Give him the strength to survive through long hours of work. Give him a flexible, open mind to think thoroughly. Let him go, oh lord. Sore with you high up; for you have the power to create miracles, the power to turn the whole world round and round. Lord, let his thoughts of failure, fears be overcomed for you've saved him.

lord, you are the one who can save him. Never leave him nor forsake him during his exam but stay with him throughout his paper even at the very end. You'll guide him, lead him for you're the light that shines into other people's world. You give life; joy ; hope and everything that we need. Let everything be in line with his expectations. Everything will go on smoothly. Let your presence be felt, touch and in everyway to know that you're with him to keep him safe and sound. For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only son that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life ( hopes) God, all I pray for is all, give him. Lord, I'm really praying hard. We know that we could trust you cos you're God, the lamb of God, the holy one. In Jesus name, we pray

Amen!

Mourning ove my dearest Pooh Bear ;/

2010-05-30T18:16:00.002+08:00

I am very sad to tell you that I left my beloved Pooh Bear in the dorm and I bet the auntie's have cleared it away :( Thrown in the dustbin! :(:( soo poor thinggg!! :( This post is a tribute to him :/

He has stayed with me for 10 over years and now , he has finally gone :/ stupid, clumsy me :(

Should have brought him home, give him a nice bath you know?!? :( But never mind :)

Dear has promised me then he'll buy a another new baby pooh for mee! :D:D This one really cannot lost uh if not I'll really cry over it :/ Can't wait for my present :D:D hahaha!

Tired!

2010-05-30T16:37:00.002+08:00

Hai yooo :/ I have to write soo much for my compo! :( My hand very 'suan' you know :( 1,222 words, can you believe it? 0.o Shouldn't have wrote so much but too bad, Im hardworking :D:D

soo it's worth writing a little bit more then expected :) My skin soo thick lar, dear must be wondering -.- haha! :D yep yep yep :) and umm, REGINE! You have caused me to kind of go crazy over Shinee a little bit xp Key cuttee uh? :) hahaha. Dead, I'm going to act like Regine -.-

No way, it's a nono, must stop myself :) ehh but the song' Replay' and the dancde moves are damn awesome! :D Chee! you said you'll teach me cos you know!!! :P *RUBBISH* hahaha.

lalala :) you know, why I look at my team's photo, it gives me strength :) say cheese! :D

Church :)

2010-05-30T15:14:00.003+08:00

Yep, suprised that I went to church? :) Well, I became to host today! :D:D I didn't really know what to do but luckily Daniel guided me :P But may I ask, am I suppose to hold the curtains? -.-
Also part of the job? 0.0 hahaha! And how could you ask a injured person to host!? yeppee, Pastor Matt told us a lot of stories :) Showig us videos, telling us that muslims burning down church can happen to Singapore as Malaysia have already started it! Soo scary :/ Boy who are serving the Nation must be alert okay! hahaha. yep and Jie Jie Wei Yee suggested to go bowling on 13 June! Sooo excited :) Daniel, Debbie, Faith and Faydra will be there too together with jiejie's daarling hor? :) yay!! Think we'll be going to E-Hub to bowl :) It's soo expensive you know :/ we had to pay $88 the other time round which we didn't really expected to. Poor jiejie had to pay :X yep, can't wait :D Jiejie saidd can bring my friend, don't know who leh hor? :P jiejie want to win me? 0.0 no way! we shall wait and see :P
HAHA! Well, I took some pictures of my cute little goddaughter :D cuttee right? :D:D much more then chee :D:D

2010-05-30T01:13:00.005+08:00

Ohhh Boyfriend :) Don't get to stress okay? :) You know you can always count on me? :)

Make sure you get enough rest; eat enough ; study hard; play hard; rest :)

Don't doubt too! :) I love you okay? :) Goodnight , 徐可轩 :)

hahaha! I can't really find the one when you're dressed up properly leh :( but I have it in my phone :) HAHA! Cutee uh :D This was what I intended to do :] <3

2010-05-30T00:00:00.002+08:00

yea yea yea , whatever ;/ I dont know blah blah blah .
I'm such a failure yea I admit. Soo sorry, I failed
yea tsk tsk BLOG, I LOVE YOU A LOT COS YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE THAT DOESN'T MIND PEOPLE SCREAMING, SHOUTING AT :)

2010-05-29T23:52:00.001+08:00

right now, I look like an retard, idiot, fool, stupid and dumb acting like nothing happened. yea, thanks thanks

2010-05-29T23:28:00.002+08:00

I already tried starting already and you blame me for being quiet, what do you want me to do? after I talk finish then you also never talk. you blame me. Fine, I'm in the wrong. sorry, I don't know how to satisfy you, I'm such a failure. I don't know what to do. Sorry. I'm sorry for everything. Happy? I thought it will be good if you could see my compo what. I didn't have the intention to make you play ;/ I didn't know that I was such a bad influence. sorry. The first time you shouted at me. I was certainly shocked. yeah. My last support is gone. Im hopeless now. Thanks god, for giving me such life, I surely appreciate it.

Don't get to stress ;/

2010-05-29T22:59:00.001+08:00

2010-05-29T15:04:00.001+08:00

I don't want to know the truth whereby it cuts me deeply into my heart ;/

2010-05-29T14:57:00.001+08:00

Why so short? ;/ You know, I have a lot of things to tell you, to share with you how I feel but each time when I think twice, I decided no too cos I might affect your mood

2010-05-29T14:48:00.002+08:00

Yeah yeah yeah, I admit that I am. Could you just kind of consider about my feelings? I know you don't like it but how about me? I also don't like it. I see the whole stretch of it, it's all about it. So you mean --- means more then me? Then go on, move on, don't break my heart for a billion times and keep saying sorry over and over again.
It's not worth my tears for you. Whatever it is, byeee

Injured :(

2010-05-28T17:58:00.002+08:00

Getting injured is a real pain:/ Well, firstly, I can't really walk a lot.
It's inconvenient to walk around even when I bathe, I can't bend -.- Secondly, just like yesterday, I don't really enjoy walking so slow cos it's wasting my time! I had to go to the physio for treatment, making him wait on the sofa :( It's stupid seriously
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
And lately, we became official on facebook :)
But it's kind of scary as I do not want any of my church friends to know that I'm having one :/ And for Coach, I don't give a thing to it. Think, if I said that I'm not with him throughout the year until now to everybody, how could she say that I am? And treating me like that will only let me know that I have this kind of Coach who take things into her own hands. And having one doesn't mean that it'll affect our lives, I repeat again. If you're too sensitive to this, I really wonder why you're so concern about us? Maybe , I agree that we're one whole big family but sometimes, isn't it too much? It's all about support, encouragement not those lovey, mushy things!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Darryl! I've always been writing about you! Aren't I good? :D I'm waiting for your reply you know? :/ soo slow; Someday I'll ask your mum to confiscate her iphone away from you :P
Do you have anything on Monday? :p If not you can wait for me when I'm in physio you know? :P Ah, I know you won't cos you're too lazy and tired to do that :/ It's just a wishful thinking of mine :( haha
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bye Bye :)

Holidays are finally here- But I don't find it useful though -.-

2010-05-27T19:36:00.002+08:00

Goodness me! The time passed so fast in a blink of an eye. It's coming June, which means the year is going to end :( Which means dear is leaving the school soon ;/ Well, life still goes on. If I fall, I must get up. If I'm hurt, I must overcome it. Now it's 2 weeks of holidays. Do you know what's the definition of holiday? It means that its rest time, not filled up with trainings! I don't know if it's right to think what i'm thinking now but, chill :) Worst thing is that I sprained my ankle :/ How bad can that be? Walking so slowly that when everybody takes over me , rushing to assembly :( Life is hard , I know. Life's filled with challenges , obstacles, and problems. You would only live your life to the fullest when you have overcome many obstacles,knowing the dangerous world outside, stepping out of our comfort zone. Those who have not stepped out of your comfort zone, have not encounter any problems, I think you'll have great issue when you're competing with the world future. I know, maybe, I'm not a good example to you in your opinion, coach. But rest assure that I will prove you wrong because I will do my 110% in all things I do, proving that having boyfriends doesn't affect anything in my life. If you really don't believe me, it's up to you and I will shine one day because of the pressure you gave me, the hard conditions that I will overcome it. 俗语说，人不可貌相，海水不可斗量. Don't judge its book by its cover. I will stand up strong for no one will be able to trumble me.
Anyway, I went to watch a movie ' Prince of Persia' :) at causeway point where there's not much people there :) How should I describe you? Comfortable? Sweet? Cute? Handsome? Or sum it up to say, you're everything :) Thank you for all the love , the care , the patience , the consideration that you've given me :) You've supported me when I'm falling; you give me strength :)Keep holding on :) Stay in my life forever yeah? :)

2010-05-21T19:37:00.002+08:00

WHOAOO! Today was awesome I could say :D At the same time, it was hot and tiring!
We just got informed that we're going to have to move out all of our stuffs just to accommodate guests that are coming to our school during the first two weeks of holidays. I find it stupid -.- But its an advantage for the school no choice :)
And our house, the Mighty Red House, invincible and large in numbers, is giving us our house jerseys with our own preferred name on it:D Its soo cool! I put 'Avelyn:D' with the number '18' on it :) But seriously speaking, I'm really tired. Tired of everyone who tries to take advantage of me for example , homework. I don't want to talk so much about it but I need the support. Im not receiving it. I find it hard to cope like that. Like with all my problems, I finally broke down and gave it hard.
Ohhh, why talk about this anyway? Yep, today was just cool :) Im not really sure how to move on in my life but with them, I could really make it :)
- Fatin
You're a great friend of mine. You make me smile you make me laugh and Im glad that you're here with me together working hard towards our goal- The National Finals Netball :)You're the energy that is needed in the team! Important! ;)
- Regine
Though you're a girl that I dislike when you leave me alone in my own room to sleep, but we make a great pair in shooting! :) Chinese lessons will always be a problem but I'll take it as a learning point :) Learn from each other and excel together :)Goodluck in Under 14's :)
- Sarah
You're just great, you don't have to change your attitude to suit into others. Just be yourself, everybody has its own style, own personality and people just need to accept the fact that you're like this :) Don't ever let others look down on you but show them that you're capable in the things that you do :)
- Shabirah
You've never change since the day I know you when we're in primary school. Well, I don't really have much to say but what I can say that you've pushed yourself to make it into Sports School despite the fact that Miss Wang actually didn't believe that you could :) Well done! :) Continue to work hard okay? :)
- Shafeeqah
( apologies for not knowing how to spell your name)
At first, most of the people dislikes you and that's for sure. But after many times of team meeting that was directly against you, you changed for the better :) I can't disagree by the fact that we need to accept for who you are but its also for your own good :) Hope you'll strive hard? yea? :)
- Syazana
You! The all rounded player! You super cool drawing really makes me wonder how on earth did you do it! haha, well, both of us are on the same sides. Playing one quarter was miserable, I agree but let's work hard and outshine others okay? :)
-Jeraldine
You are often disliked in school but that's okay cos you know that your whole team is there for you whenever you needed help or encountering any troubles :) May it be the seniors, may it be your classmates, taking advantage or not, always know that when you have difficulties overcoming your fears , its when you grow to be more mature like you've said. Whether its backstabbers , always know your enemies and tell yourself that you'll never let anyone look down on you for you will somehow be a good example for everyone to follow because you know you've done well :) Make yourself stronger , knowing that every obstacles is a test. JY! :)Last long ;)
-Josephine
My dear retard! Stop talking to yourself like as if you're talking to a ghost!:P Well done in the last match that you've played last game! Like i've said, don't think that you can't make it but always think that you will do your very best :)
A netballer who have only joined Netball for a short period of time before joining Sports School is very commendable! :) Go for it, make it to the top :)
-Deborah
You and your horses are just making me loving them more then before!:P And your music that influenced the whole room with ' YMCA' :D As a Co- Captain,it's really pressurising but with your ability, I believe that you can lead , leading us all the way! :D Work it out! :D
-Corrine
The one that is super lame that makes me laugh all the way :)hahaha! Same class, having similar thoughts are always the best way to have a good friendship :)
Secrets and works are really the one that we cooperate together, working things out :)JY in Your running! You have the potential to be the best, shooting wise and everything! Must jy, smile more okay? :)
Phew, that was one long post that I've ever posted on :P Tomorrow is the open house of our very own school that we dreamt to be in here and same goes to other people that will be turning up for trials tomorrow :) So let us help each other, taking care of things and make the open house a successful one okay? :) Tomorrow will be the day when we could see our future juniors ! Excited? :D Yes you do! :D
HAHAHA! AS A TEAM, WE WORK TOGETHER , PLAY TOGETHER BECAUSE TOGETHEREVERYONEACHIEVESMORE!

2010-05-07T23:04:00.002+08:00

Dearest Fatin,
Rest well and get well soon cos the whole Netball team misses you badly cos we're missing out some laughters, jokes and happiness! And whhen you come back, catch up on your work and go all the way yea, Zuhairi? :P Fatin, you're so chubby too! I also wanna pinch you! :P Wherever you are, take care :)
Buai Buai! :D HAHA! The crazy Fatin ;)

Back from a wet wet evening :D fun fun fun !

2010-05-07T22:43:00.004+08:00

Chubby! :D You're so chubby, cute boyfriend of mine :)
Went home with you, spending time together after such a long time really left a great impact :)( though we saw few of the soccer boys that inclueded Zharfan, Shazwan and etc )( Next time know where to go already hor? :P )I just love you a lot so stay strong okay? Be mine forever and I'll be yours :) HAHA! Chubby so cute! :D I really miss you every now and then , even when I'm having test, I think of you :) Cos I want to make you proud! :) Someday, we'll make it official ; someday we'll make it through :) Parents are always the one who has problems wit all this but still, we can do it ;) Actually, I can start a relationship around 15? :P Weird timing, I know :)Go strong , pray hard and make it happen :)
And and, must study!
HAHA! Say cheese Chubby! :D

"CHEESE!"

Cable works :D

2010-05-04T14:32:00.003+08:00

Yep, now im in my school, posting :)
Today , was just as usual. But results for some of our subjects came out like our History and Science :) I got 20/30 for History -.- Hedrey got 21.5/30!!!
Damn angry cos I've been losing out , losing to him -.-
But gladly to say that I got 16/25 for Science and Hedrey got 14.5/25? :D
Fair and square :) I'm really looking forward to Maths , Chinese and Science Module 4 Test cos I have been working hard for these subjects :) Oh! Talking about Chinese, I scored a mark of 62/75 which was the 2nd highest I think? 0.o Hedrick, if I'm not wrong for the spelling, he was the highest -.- My target is to beat him, OWN HIM!!
HAHAHA! I really know who are my competitors in my classes, both Chinese and formal class :) I really have to be aware of my surroundings, working hard continously , non- stop :) I have a lot of target, goals that I planned to achieve and hopefully I will?
:) Now I'm in my room, resting while I'm waiting for Darryl's reply :) He's having Chinese extra lesson now which he really needs to pay attention in order to attain his target for O Level which is 10 points? Boyfriend! You better work hard okay? :) Work hard for a brighter future, for everthing that it's worth working for :) I'll wait and see, at the same time, encouraging you :)Must 再接再厉！ :) 你明白吗？ HAHAHA! :D
Whatever it is, you'll always have my support :) Love you, senior!:Ｐ　

Sports School! I'm coming :)

2010-05-03T17:42:00.003+08:00

Whoa, I got so frustrated today. I found that going out with my family, feels like a burden to me.
I'll have to take care of everything ; making sure that my cousins are always by my side, not losing them, feeding them, scolding them. Why can't they just be like other kids, so adorable, more mature then them -.- maybe its the discipline that comes from the parents? I don't know, I find
other kids much more adorable compared to your own kids -.- HAHA, hope i'll change this perspective of mine :) today was humid! I can't stand the weather. Never mind, I'll be going back to school today anyway . I'll be free from the naggings. YES! I just received $30 for doing housework :P:P Boyfriend, you have? XD hazhaha. hmm, can I tell you something?
Which particular song will make me break my heart? It's you, you're the song in my mind that I keep repeating it :) So don't ever break my heart again okay? i hope you're doing fine now, your flu will go away and you'll be healthy again :) hmm, I dont know why am I posting by I felt like typing a lot of words :D Bye bye, going back to school so i wont be able to post this week :)
ANDANDAND, hope trainings will be fun, exciting, memorable and mostly, we'll all treat it seriously to improve ourselves and fight into the finals like our beloved seniors who did it and B Div won the title! My dream is to be a National player, be a Shooter, getting the whole Sec one team ( batch of 2010) to win all competitions , fight all the way! I believe we can do it :) But with some , some players who had butter fingers must 再接再厉，好吗? 我相信我们能做的到。加油！

2010-05-02T22:33:00.002+08:00

一次又一次的这样给你伤到，我的心变开始碎了。我必需慢慢的把一片片碎掉的心，把它放在一起。要不是我让步，我们这段感情早已完了。我真很爱你。我第一次看见你时，就觉得我们很有橼，去到那，就看的到你。可是，令我就悲哀的是，你完全不体谅我干觉不到我是那么的心痛。你为了玩游戏机，却可以忘了我。 why? 我问我自己。你是正正爱我的人吗？我是不是一个负担，需要你承担？你对我的感情变了吗? 我们跟对方有很多希望。说过要陪对方一生一世，永不分离，白头偕老。我希望，你是我第一个，也是最后一个让我用我的真心去爱你的人。

I'm waiting for you, do you know that?

2010-05-02T20:59:00.003+08:00

Every single little thing that you think it doesn't hurt me , I really feel hurt
Something painful the pain is indescribable. I'm waiting for your msg
Though you're playing, you could at least tell me that you'll msg me after that？I keep waiting , waiting for you . but its long. now again, I gave in , yet again
I don't know how many sorries have I received from you , how many times my heart broke into pieces and I have to slow glue it back into place. Refine me lord, fill my heart ;( I should get on with my english homwork before i go jogging with ashley who is truly my really bestfriend.

Tic tock , tic tok. . .

2010-04-25T14:56:00.002+08:00

Aww, time is really passing damn freaking slow! :(
I miss him and wonder if he's really angry with me :(
Reply my sms asap pls :( Boyfriend. . . :(
I can't concentrate my work like this :( i haven't even started on one question of my maths work :(

2010-04-25T13:49:00.002+08:00

Sorry boyfriend !!! Sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry!! :(
Forgive Girlfriend okay? :( ILOVEYOU! :( :( :(
I was just kidding only :(:(:( BYEBYE, enjoy your class :(

2010-04-24T18:36:00.002+08:00

I'm really sad now. I wonder, why do people want to get so much attention from other people especially from boys. Soccer boys . You can go ahead and complain about Deborah, Syazana, Regine, Fatin. Just accept the fact that you're selfish, stupid, attention seeker and suck a flirt!
You already have him, what else do you want? what what?
You said you were miserable, how about me? use your brain and think .
You have you mother who loves you, care for you, asking where are you every now and then .
What makes you so such that you are the lonely one? You think highly of yourself, thinking that everybody is wrong and you're the right one to follow. My foot! Every Fridays , you would dress till so, so, im speechless . Can you imagine im speechless?Heck no Im going to care about you.
Just get out of my life and done with!

2010-04-18T16:53:00.002+08:00

Back from homework time :)
Today, I finally went to church , felt empty inside, not really excited when I reached church
Today, a speaker came to our church, preaching God's word to us.
The word's preach was a great impact to me
It concerns me and let me think those things he preached over and over again.
While I was singing praises to God, I cried
I wanted to kneel down on my knee, cry out loud but I just can't do it.
I was standing first in front in the frist row.
I sang out loud, so loud that even when the speakers were blusting, I could still hear my own voice .
Okay, let us go back to the topic on preaching.
He preached about blessed are those who are poor in spirit.
The words spoke to me, I felt guilty, admitting that I was one of them . In fact im still still searcing God, that will fill up the loneliness in me for I tend to dwell in .
I may be rich physically but not spiritually.
All I needed was God, just God to lighten me :)
Now besides God that could be trusted, Chee is also one of them :P
So chee uh, got a HUGE , GREAT, BIG RESPONSIBILITY!!! :D
hahaha! ILOVEYOU :)
BYEBYE :D:D

2010-04-17T23:09:00.002+08:00

i dont like you already :(
people dont want to to tell you what i doing then you dont tallk to people :(
Maybe im too sensitive? i dont know?
People want to talk to you what. . .
bleh...................................................................

2010-04-16T23:14:00.004+08:00

Finally, im back home to use my laptop :)
Its been long after the lastest post and someone just commented , saying that my blog has very little post :P That 's why im here to post :)
Well, ups and downs in life, what can you really do to avoid it anyway?
The only solution is to overcome these downs and make it up:)
I realised one thing, that the new coach, was actually good in a sense that we can accept her in some ways. But some drills from her are really- pointless
It's like , she don't let other people a chance to play other positions.
She thinks that if you're good in this area, there's no point trying other positions and this made me backing out of the attackers position and becoming a defender which I hate to be now and starting to like attacking especially shooter. I mean like, shooter's positions are taken up be Corrine, Regine and Deborah mostly. So you ( New coach) mean that other's are not comparable to them being shooter? Today, at 4.30pm, Sports School Sec 1 Netballers had a friendly match with Woodlands Ring Secondary School. Even though we won them, depite crying over things that was totally no reason for the umpire to blow us! What the hell went wrong , did they got something into their eye and thought we stepped, dragged or obstruct?! We could score more if it wasn't their fault. And most importantly, I was extremly mad at the attackers at the first few quaters because as you can see, they did not catch the ball in a proper way and lost the ball the the opponeut- Which was stupid mistakes that we should not make. Next thing is that they didn't work hard to get the ball, they didn't defend properly, they didn't run at their full speed and sadly to say, did not try their best. As a defender who stands at the goal post, looking like a stupid idiot fool who was about to cry and still cried in the end, would of course be angry and really hoped that she could do even more, run more, offer the ball more but unfortunately, coach placed me in GK for 3 quaters out of 6 quaters. And looking at those vain, low, cheap, not brought up properly looking girls just let my anger grew as they were so arrogant , if I could, I would give a tight slap on one of the girl's face who thinks highly of herself.
And for goodness sake! She tried shooting from such a far distance, thinking that she would score but out of 10 goals, I can only say that she only scored 1 -.-
HAHA! I LOL so hard at her inside my heart when she missed the shot. Today was just bad, a badly done match, and was able to lie to Noraida that the match was great, they did well -.-
What rubbish is that?? But whatever it is, I was still able to maintain the standard to become the best player though there were 3 of uss including Jeraldine and Regine.
I know what was amissed during the match- The Fighting Spirit & Energry
What ever it is, now, all I know is that I complained everything to Chee :P
I can say that he's my daily dairy, friend, best friend, _ _ _ friend , just everything to me :)
Bye Bye , I need to sleep , Im super tired from everything in school that gives me pressure.
I need a break, a break to rest and recover, night :)
And btw, I went back with chee today and travelled a long distance! :X Right chee?! XD HAHA!

2010-04-10T19:27:00.002+08:00

Dear Lord Jesus, I really pray that tomorrow, Chee could go back to school him me as the parents will agree for letting him to go out with me. I pray that everything will go on smoothly tomorrow, both of us will enjoy tomorrow. I pray that you'll bless us, bless him and bless me :)
Pray that wel'll last long as I've prayed the other time, forever :)
Thank you for letting him, stepping into my life for everyday I will cherish him even more.
And I pray that you'll give him a hardworking attitude to study hard for his upcoming biig exam which is the O-Levels. He wants to hit a 10points and get into a good JC. I know its tough but at the same time, I know you'll help him. Please, I know you make everything work if we believe in you and I believe. I believe in your works. In Jesus name, I pray,
Amen.

2010-04-10T18:43:00.002+08:00

HAHA! Bet you've read Jeraldine's post :)
True, true that she's my close friend of mine but not as close as me and DC:Ｄ:D
HAHAHA! OKay, today was pretty much the same so I shall start from yesterday :)
Yesterday was the day when DC and me going home together. Both of us were very excited bout it as both of us miss each other a lot. After lessons, at 12pm, I went back to dorm while DC went to chinese class. After one hour, he told me he couldn't go back with me bacause his dad change his mind to drive him back home to eat dinner before procceding Marina to watch Clash Of the Titans in 3D. I was terribly upset and disappointed. Tears filled in my eyes and rolled down on my cheeks when I blinked my eye. I stood at my study desk and wondering if I should bring my phone to CDP even though I told him I'll reply after training. But I missed him too much, I need to talk to him, need to tell him that im not feeling okay. Hence, I grab and put my phone inside my shoe bag and went off to CDP as time was running against me. I smsed him and told him then I was very sad. I missed him a lot. Every word came out from his mouth were guilty and apologising which were very touching. It moved me and I started crying . In additional to that, I cried in CDP . The iinstructor saw and didn't really bother me. That was even better cos I need time to calm down and think. He said he was sorry, he didn't expect it to happen. He misses me a lot too. He said he'll make it up to me. Then I paused. I recalled back that he used to say he'll make it up to me for umpteen times. But he didn't make it up to me. Isn't that empty promise to me? But I think, if I don't forgive him, things will go wrong, we would break and end up ignoring each other and I'll lose him forever. I took a deep breath and said it was okay, make sure he make it up to me. Besides, its his father's decision, he has no call to it. I can't blame him and end up him calling me unreasonable. I learn to forgive and forget because I know I love him a lot and know that the love will last for long. He once said, I'll take care of you, and I never let you go when i'm caught. I will too, I will never let you go, forever :) Whenever I'm feeling troubled, you're the first to know, first to comfort me, first to make me smile at all circumstances . You're a great gift from God that I've ever received and I'll cherish every moment with you :)
Bye :D:Ｄlooking forward to sunday :P

2010-04-10T18:35:00.002+08:00

Guess who's here ? Avelyn's beloved & Most
trustworthy BESTFRIEND , Jeraldine :P
Right right Avelyn ? Oh , how thick can my skin
be ?
Some thing that i can't change :D
Know what ? ,
Me & her hated each other from the start ,
But now , we're like the closest (:
ANDAND , Please ah . LYN
Dont sad sad , angry angry can . Later i scared is i
make you angry or sad one know .
HORHHORH (:
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMZXC .

2010-03-28T14:52:00.002+08:00

I was once left alone by my family and abandoned by my friends...
friendss said they will accompany me back home but in the end, she wanted to watch the play and asked me to go back myself. I told myself , im a all alone again?
no im not cos i still have god with me
like rapheal said so, he's all around me
i wish
i wish i could just die and say bye to the world
isn't that great? better? cooler?
less stress?
i hope so
I Love You Darryl! :D:D:D
Even if your parents don't allow , i will go for you :P

2010-03-20T23:06:00.003+08:00

Why? Why people I could finally accept into my life leaves?
Suddenly, news spreads across the team, gossips being spread around.
When dawn breaks, spotlight will be on her, why is she leaving?
Reason being her teammates, friends from the Track and Field affects her life.
People adviced, 'She's already made up her mind so let her be. Besides, if her attitude is such that if things don't go her way she'd only want to change her circumstances and not herself, I don't think its a good idea to stay. ' commented by *****
Well, is it really that case? Most of the other people like the Sec 1 batch and all other batch other from Sec 2 batch finds her funny, easy to get along, a good secret keeper.
Some other people even said she's seeking attention which means she's a attention seeker in other words. She told me, ' I will stay if majority wants me to stay.' Do you really think she's really seeking for attention?
But maybe when she leaves, it will be a good news to those who dislikes her? And maybe the communication between the team and itself will improve. They will know how to get along well with each other without her?
But now she leaves because she can't change to fit in. I mean, she wants it her own way and its not surprise that people dislikes her? But this feeling is weird, strange. She doesn't relate to me?
Why am I helping us when she's the one who keeps on disturbing me about DC and me?
But yet , happy moments always starts with her during training. Without her, laughters , screams are all gone . . . Everything will be gone. Everything will never be the same.
I really wonder, can Noraida take this? With so many things happening recently, it must have been hard on her. I have decided to buck up during training, improve on my stamina and my results for beep test. Prove that her teaching, nagging, has really work out. Her effort has not gone to waste.
But it doesn't really help when only I realised that I need to buck up. I need everybody's participation. For things to work out right :)
For now, I'm really grateful tp have such good people surrounding me , people like Noraida , Madam Lee, a little bit from Ms Robin, Seniors like Georgina , and most from Sec 2 batch :)
Especially DC :) Everyday, my day brightens up with a smile on my face whenever messages were sent by him. Whenever I'm feeling down, thought that no one is with me, he will always be the one that will be with me who guides me through it all :) You're the best gift I have ever received from God because I know that I prayed for him. Prayed that things will work out between the both of us.
And God was really great to lend a helping hand, lead me out of a huge dark maze.
He's the light that shines on our life as though our life were dark, as dark as sin that covered us but with him, nothing will ever be tough. I thank him for that, for everything that was given by him :)
Now, so many things has happened just within one week. Today, was the first time I went to a gym , a public gym I can call that? Welll, with the help of my friends, I finally know how to operate machines! -.- That's how unaware I am to the big real world. I'm still a kid. I'm still not exposed to different surrounding but I believe that when times goes by, I will be more independent .
Now, I'm still in my comfort zone. I'm still not use to going home alone despite going back home myself for the thousand times. Time , time can be wasted easily if you don't know how to use it wisely . I know that the time I spend during holidays were spent wisely. So many memories and feelings have left behind. . . It's time, time for school. Time to work hard and get module award, that's what I promised you :) And I will try my best to do it .
That's enough for today, folks :)
Anyway, I miss you soo badly everyday. Every minute or may it be every second, you're on my mind. You never leave my mind for once since I came to know you. And everyday, topics may have run out but know that feelings will never run out because , I know it's you :)
Byebye :D
I love you- Always :)

2010-03-19T11:52:00.002+08:00

I can't take it! I'm missing you too much! ;(
I can't accept the fact that i'm not seeing you for like don't know ohw many weeks.
I mean though we can see each other in school, maybe just a glimpse of you or so, but we can't . . . You should know what i meant.
We can't talk properly as in even if we talk in school, numerous pairs of eyes will be staring at uh -.- I hate that though but I'll take all means just to see you ;(
You know what am I feeling now? I'm depressed, feeling so low, feel like crying but yet I can't .
What on earth is going on?! ;( Maybe I'm thinking too much cos i'm now at home, alone.
Like always, I'm always thinking too much whenever i'm alone at home :(
I hate this feeling. I don't know who I can express it to! Suckish..
I rather stay in the dorm, full of laughters in he dorm where all my friends will be around.
Now, I don't know what to do! What's the point of going home to spend time with my family members when they are not even at home? I'm just like Jeraldine, whose mother doesn't really communicate with her. It's useless being back home. I would rather stay at other people's house at least there will be people unlike my house when nobody's is around.
I'm tired and sick of home! Whenever people asked me if I miss home, my answer to you is no!
I don't like to go home. I don't like to go to church too! Everytime, i had to go back home myself after church! Do you know how lonely am I?
People says that I'm too engrossed with my phone but think , only my phone is accompanying me throughout the journey most of the times. You can't blame me for playing with my phone!
Now everyone at least would have somebody at home? Plus I don't have any siblings, how boring is my life then? It really sucks! And so what if I'm crying over the same thing over and over again? Will things ever change? NO! Will anyone understand how i feel when most of them has siblings ? I'm speechless now, I can't express my feelings just like that.
I just know it really sucks! Now I've got this stupid homework to do. I have to flim myself doing to poem that i wrote personally. Sigh, when I was younger, i used to think stupid things.
But now, I don't - I found hope, life and love :)
But now, this moment, it really sucks! Nobody is at home. I don't like this kind of freedom .
Freedom which leads to loneliness and lastly, unhappiness .
Though I'm not stress now, but I'm buried with so many unhappy things between my family and I. Now, I hate most of the things except a few. . .
DC : Actually you don't need to give my anything cos you're already the best present that I have ever received :)
Byebye :(

2010-03-19T11:13:00.003+08:00

Morning. 11.14am. 19/3/2010
Today, I didn't went out with you. haha
well, i was still be able to dream about yesterday .
yesterdaY, might be the most tiring day but yet its the most memorable, fun last day
May it be the last day, feelings have grew even stronger, i can say
But will this last forever? questions are yet to be answered . The cornerstone to any relationship is all about communication. i now realised that topics have been running out , i dont have much to say as before even though fellings for you are strong . surprisingly strong.
You asked me to chill, so im depending on you. I wondered, are your feelings as strong as mine?
im not so sure about that. now, im waiting for you to reply. maybe you're busy with your work :)
i understand . chinese exam ( o levels ) are coming. make sure you really work hard, as what you have promised me that you will do. regardless whether its maths , chinese , science , english or ss , you will still do your best in every subject :)
make me proud of you, getting 10points which was your aim.
And for your upcoming event, believe that you will be able to do it
it doesn't matter who is your opponent , as long as you keep your miond set right, positive, and race it all , nothing will be able to come into your way:)
HAHAHA! I'm not sure if im coming to watch you during your event but i will try :)
but not really fair huh? i got to travel such a long distance -.-
bleh, never mind :) and why am i posting all this? 0.o guess im doing this out of boredom? :P
Whatever it is, I'll always be behind you, supporting you :)
Love you :D HAHAHAHA!

2010-03-18T21:30:00.002+08:00

Hello :) I'm sooooo sorry for not attending the class gathering today because I have something else to attend :X Well. I saw photos of the gather, guess I missed the fun huh? 0.o
Never mind :) At least i still have something interesting went on today :P
I went out. Okay, today was seriously very very wet :D hahaha!
Say bye bye to ---------- :D
hahahaha! hmm, im planning for something to work out
Seemed very frustrated in finance for his guitar -.-
Hmm, was thinking if evey month , i don't go out, i could at least save 40 dollars and pass it to him.
And if he also doesn't go out, he will have 60dollars total. then 60 + 40 = 100
800 - 250( current amount) = 550
550/100(each month amount of money) = 5.5
So it's 5 months 5 weeks?
Am i right? 0.o now im super blur by calculating this -.-
bleh, but in the first place, how am i going to pass the money to him?
0.o cannot let him know :P hahaha!
Never mind, think im thinking too much for him for now XD hahaha!
Bye people, help me think of an idea okay! :D
See ya! :)

2010-03-14T18:46:00.002+08:00

14/3/2010

Today, I skipped church cos i went out with my friend.
We went for movie - Dear John
Well, i find the movie quite draggy even though its nice watching it
Freezing cold.
But with warm hands covered me, feeling much better
Next, we went to bras basar , i think, to see guitars :P
It was so cool! Different types of design and model are totally amazing!
We then went to eat lunch at bugis junction and we took a train down to dhoby ghuat so see more guitars but unfortunately, the shop was closed so we went to eat dessert :p
Yum Yum! :D
We went somewhere in the building toslack and went to Cathey? or somwthing like that if im not wrong? and soon, my friend had to go back home to gather with the family for dinner even though planned to spent the whole day out with me
of cos i was sad but didnt had the choice so went home :(
That's my day for today :)
Btw , i had my new laptop now , and im bringing it to school :)
Bye :D